Sunday, August 26, 2012

Love Marriage ya Arranged Marriage

Love Marriage or Arrange Marriage?

A marriage is bliss of society. Perfect marriage is a term which is not possible to achieve in true sense. Nothing is perfect in the world, so is marriage. Searching a perfect match makes life difficult, as expectations from each other gets out of hand.

In western world marriage is usually an event between two people. In Indian subcontinent it is a family event. Here the bride and groom often have little say.

What is arranged marriage?

Arranged marriage is a marriage where the bride and groom are selected by their respective families. Interference of the bride and groom in this marriage varies a great deal. It depends on the attitude of the involved families and whether they belong to urban or rural society. It also varies with different cast and location as we know India is a diverse country.

Arranged marriage is most common in India and usually successful. The social taboo associated with marriage break up also makes many unsuccessful marriages appear successful in public. The main point is to adjust and sacrifices for each other and respective families to make the marriage successful. Still adjustment of the bride is more important and common especially in rural situations with few exceptions. Sometimes arrange marriages are a part of a business deal between two families and no one bothers about the life of the bride or groom. But in general these marriages suit our society. The dowry system is also a curse of arranged marriage.

What is love marriage?

Love marriage only formed because of the existence of arranged marriage. Love marriage is the only way a marriage can take place in the Western world where a bride and groom select each other. Looks logical but unfortunately most of the families think otherwise. Success of love marriage depends on the same points of arranged marriage. The understanding, adjustment and sacrifice are equally important in this case also. Chance of surviving is better as both bride and groom are familiar to each other. But one should understand that in India they are not staying together before marrying. So it is not possible to understand each other completely before marriage. Thus this marriages may be equally problematic especially with young couples living in their dream world of infatuation.

But the real problem starts if the respective families do not agree with the marriage. This is common if the two families have major differences on cast, social status or religion. Marriage then becomes a struggle. They still may try to be happy with themselves but family interventions can make their life miserable. Even honor killing is quite common in the Indian subcontinent.

It is difficult to assess which marriage is good. Whichever is the process of marrying the basic points of successful marriage do not change. Arrange marriage may seem strange to many parts of the world but is successful in India and since our social bonding is stronger than western world the happiness of other family members are also important.

The best position is to have a love marriage with consent of the respective families. But this often does not happen. Parents should be more open-minded giving priority to the happiness of children. Children also should have equal responsibility for parents. A balance will bring happiness to all. After all marriage is sweet and should bring happiness.

This is my entry for the Love Marriage ya Arranged Marriage contest in Indiblogger

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